Imperfect Beginnings

I know I'm not Doing This Right. I've done my homework. I know that blogs are supposed to have an overarching theme and a cohesive look. I know I'm supposed to somehow “brand” myself, make sure the name is catchy, to share my story on point with my brand, and, of course, have an end goal wherein I make money. I'm supposed to have a color theme, professional photos and logo. I'm supposed to have it All Figured Out. That's when I'm supposed to start a blog. That's how a blog becomes successful, is what I’m told. I know this because I'm A Preparer. It's pretty basic to who I am and it has felt like an important survival tool. And because I didn’t have any of these things figured out, and in the chaos of everyday life raising three children, I didn’t have much time to, I kept waiting for a better time to do this.

Except that every single best thing that's ever happened to me happened when I wasn't prepared, didn't even try to prepare; happened when I was at my most Zen, most go-with-the-flow; happened when the next right thing to do didn't make any logical sense and I was scared, but I did it anyway: Like ending a beautiful relationship, like quitting my job with nothing in the works and moving back in with my parents, like moving to Japan, like letting him into my heart even when my heart felt so crushed, like running away to India immediately after getting married. All of these decisions were so scary and so hard, with many dissenters voicing their opinions. They were also the decisions that led to me thriving, growing, and slowly finding my place in the world.

I guess that's why this blog is being born- it's my next thing, simple as that. Because it keeps popping into my head and I keep writing posts in my journal to no one and I have no explanation why. I'm a private person. I'm not fond of social media and yet I want to spill my guts to strangers on the internet. Why? I read this quote that says “it only has to make sense to you”, but here’s how I really feel: It doesn’t even have to make sense to you, but if your heart and soul say “do it”, then do it anyway.

So here is my Imperfect Beginning, but it’s a beginning nonetheless.